Well I decided to make a list of all the medications I was on 5 months ago. It was very hard remembering all the names. When I was in San Diego I had 4 doctors. I had a Psychiatrist, Rheumatologist, ECT doctor, and Primary care. I was being treated for my mental illness and autoimmune disease ankylosing spondylitis. I honestly believe that my autoimmune disease was psychosomatic. The only thing they could find that was abnormal was my ESR levels. Either way they treated me for this disease any way.
My psychiatrist diagnosed me with Major Depression, Agoraphobia, Generalized Anxiety, Panic Disorder and OCD.
These were the medications I was on. Some of which I have come to find out aren’t even for the illnesses I was diagnosed with.
Olanzapine–Schizophrenia and bi polar disorder
Abilify– Depression, Schizophrenia, and mood disorders
Topamax– Epilepsy, migraines
Cymbalta– Depression, anxiety
Levothyroxine– Low thyroid, Depression
Humira– Inflamation, pain
Indomethasin– Joint Stiffness
Gabapentin– Nerve pain
So I look at this list and I think to myself how the Fuck did I even function as long as I did? I mean eventually I couldn’t function anymore and I lost my career of 14 years and I couldn’t be a parent to my child and I lost everything. It was just too much. On top of it all I was getting ECT shock treatments at the hospital 2 to 3 times a week for months.
I know I can’t completely blame the doctors. I know it was my choice to take the medications they prescribed to me. I thought that since a doctor was advising me to take these medications that I would get better. Unfortunately it made me worse.
Now that I have been taking nothing for the last 5 months, I feel so much better and awakened. I feel like I have been in a sedated reality for the last 7 years. I do still battle with my depression and pain but I can manage it. Just changing my whole environment and life style has been 100 times better than any drug I have been on.
Now I am not saying that people shouldn’t take medication. Some medications maybe life changing for some people. I just think in my case it got out of control.