Well I have ECT tomorrow. It will be my 10th treatment. I have 10 more to go. Originally I thought it was 12 treatments but it looks like its going to be 20. I have been kinda of stressed out lately. I haven’t wanted to be touched. I have a lot on my mind. I’m really worried what they are saying about me at work. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think but I can’t help it. I’m getting electric shock for peat sake. I really don’t want to be depressed though. I am desperate. Depression destroyed my life and I am willing to do any thing to make it go away. I lost my marriage, my friends, my family, my house, and now I may lose my job. I’ll sit in that mental hospital and get electrocuted any day if meant getting any of those things back.
Well I’m pretty excited. My boyfriend and I are going to have a hand fasting on Jan 15th. It will mark our 2 year anniversary. My son will be the ring bearer. I can’t wait to pick out a dress and decor and stuff. I just need to figure out where we are going to do this. I picked out my ring already and it’s awesome.