I Feel Defeated

I feel defeated right now.  I am taking so many medications, plus I’m doing ECT.  When will it end?  I’m frustrated….I have been battling depression with all I got and I have seen little improvement.  I’m still not working because I can’t drive.  I can’t drive because of the  ECT.  F&CK!! when will it end?  I just want my life back. I’m getting my brain electrocuted for peat sake.  What more do I need to do?  I’m going to have 2 therapists to talk to, which I really need to talk to someone right now.  I’m supposed to be a functioning, working , single mother.  How do I explain this to my child?  I can’t give up because I’ll end up back in the hospital.   I need to keep trying and push through this.  It’s bad enough I have to deal with my physical pain of my autoimmune disease.  It’s the main reason I’m depressed in the first place.  The other reason is that I still haven’t come to terms with my divorce and I don’t know if I ever will.


6 thoughts on “I Feel Defeated

  1. If there’s a way that I can help, I will do it. I will stand by your side during this difficult stage, and you will pass through the fire unscathed. It just takes time, and small steps in a different direction. You are already doing this, so don’t feel too frustrated. Change always takes time if it is to be not traumatic.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish I could sit across from you and have a face to face……..been there…got the badge, t-shirt and trophy.. Things do get better…it takes time…but they do..Think positive even if you dont feel like it…..and if you ever need a chat about anything…message me..i promise i will reply. Thinking of you..you are stronger than you think or feel you are…

    Liked by 1 person

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