Well I have ECT this morning. I hope it makes me feel better. I’m going to stop talking to my ex for a while. The ball is in court now. I’m going to leave him alone. Besides I think I’m searching for some sort of approval from him that I’m not going to get. I need to focus on me right now and not what he thinks or what his wife thinks. The fact is I’m doing the best I can right now by getting help at the mental hospital.