Starting Over

Well I feel great.  Soon I’m going to be starting a new life.  I took a loan out of my retirement and we are going to move to new place and start over.  I’m so excited to have a fresh start.  I plan to find a small 2 bed room home with a small yard so my son can play out side.  I just need to make sure I make it into work everyday.  I think this change will be good.  I want to get out of this apartment.  I have so many bad memories about the divorce in this apartment.  Many drunken nights feeling sorry for myself. Many nights texting my ex husband horrible things.  I just need a new place to start with my boy friend that we can be proud of and call home.



Well things are going okay.  I have been having some pain issues.  I missed work on Friday because my joints were cramped up.  I made it most of the week though.  It’s progress I guess.  So I decided I want to have a fresh start.  I took out a loan from my retirement and I have decided we need to move.  I want to get a small home with yard so my son can play.  I’m also going to pay off all my debt.  I’m looking forward to the change, I think it will be good for all of us.

My medications are still working.  I don’t have as much energy as I did when I first started the thyroid medication but it is still working for my depression.  I feel pretty good.  I’m stressed about taxes but I have time to get that all straightened out.  Any ways I’m really looking forward to this move.  This apartment have so many bad memories about me coping with my divorce.  It will be nice to get out of here.


So I’m back at work and my medication is helping but today I didn’t make it in because I’m in pain.  My body is stiff and it hurts all over.  If I still hurt tomorrow, I’ll take my steroid so I can make it into work.  My life is almost back to normal.  I made it a full week last week and I had my son.  This week I’m struggling a little.  Mentally I’m doing okay but physically I’m not.  My thyroid medication is still working but its not giving me as much energy as before so I think the doctor will need to up it.


Well I made it.  I made it through a full week of work. I also had my son this week which also made the week a little more challenging. I am so glad it is the weekend. I am so exhausted.  I don’t feel as depressed which is good.  I feel like I can function again.  I hope this medication continues to work.  I don’t want to go back to the place I was before where I could barely get myself to take a shower and I just wanted to run away.  Now I’m working and being a parent like I’m supposed to be.


Well I have almost made it through a whole week of work.  So far my thyroid medication is working for my depression.  I feel pretty good.  It’s nice to be taking care my responsibilities again.  I also entered into an art show for HIV/AIDs awarness.  I’m pretty excited about it, I hope I get accepted.  My best friend past away from AIDS so I found it to be good opportunity to show support.


I can’t believe how much has changed in the course of a week.  A week ago I could barely get myself to take a shower.  Now I am working and I’m being a mom again.  It’s amazing what one medication can do.  This thyroid medication has really helped me with my depression, maybe I have a thyroid problem and never knew.  I have to say even though its hard, its nice to be back taking care of my responsibilities again.

Okay Day

Well today was day 2 of work and it went pretty well.  I had energy and I made it through.  I picked up my son from school and it was pretty much a normal day.  I was able do get some chores done as well.  Usually I’m too tired to do any chores right after work but I had enough energy to do the dishes and scoop the cat litter.  So far the medication is a success.  Its so nice to have my son back in my life.  Going two weeks without him was really hard.

Made it to Work

Well I went back to work today.  I was scared shitless but I did it.  It went relatively well.  Luckily not too many people asked me why I was gone so long.   My boss didn’t come in so I didn’t get any comments from him.  I was really busy today.  There was a lot of work and I cleaned up a lot of stuff.

I picked up my son from school.  I hadn’t seen him in two weeks, so it was really nice to get him home. Today was filled with a lot of transitions.  It was scary but I got through it.  The medication is still working.  Now the real test is getting my son ready for school and then going to work tomorrow by 6 am


Okay I am really stressed out.  It’s getting closer to Monday and me going back to work and I am freaking out.  I am also stressed about my taxes, which I am taking care of today.  I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep everything away.  I am so nervous about work and facing everyone.  My meds are working, I don’t feel as depressed but I’m stressed out.


I really miss my best friend.  I could really use his humor and advise right now.  I have to say watching him pass away from AIDS was one of the hardest things I have ever been through.  He had this laugh that would just fill the room.  He was so funny and blunt.  We joked around when he was dying that if he died that he would have to come back haunt me because we believed in that sort of thing.  I have yet to see a sign from him.   It’s just really hard because back then, when ever I had a problem I would run to him.  I don’t have that anymore and it’s hard.  I really miss him.