Relapsing

So I think I’m relapsing.  I’ve gone back to drinking almost every day.  Its not much, just a few beers a day but its turning into a habit.  The other thing I have been doing is smoking pot on the days I don’t have my son.  I feel like I am wasting my life.  I should be out meeting new friends and talking to my old friends.  I should be able to feel happy with out the help of a substance.  I really don’t want to go back to treatment, so I’m going to try and nip this in the butt now.  My boy friend smokes pot regularly and sometimes I feel like he is an enabler.  I’m not sure what to do but I need to make a change because drinking and getting stoned after work, is not working.

My doctor raised my antidepressant and I do feel a little better but my weight gain is still horrible.  I’m over 200 pounds now.  I was 150 before they started me on all the psych drugs.   I finally got approved for Humira for my inflammatory arthritis.  It’s an injection and so far I haven’t noticed a difference but I guess it takes time.

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Update

Well I have been going through a rough time over the last few months.  There have been a lot of changes though.  My depression has been bad and my pain from my anklosing spondylitis has been bad.   I haven’t even been able to watch my son or go to work.  I finally started the medication Humira.  I haven’t noticed a difference yet because it doesn’t really work till after the 6th injection.  My psychiatrist changed my meds in the last and I have noticed a huge improvement.  I feel so much better.  I just have insomia.  I feel pretty good but its only been in the the last few days.