So I think I’m relapsing. I’ve gone back to drinking almost every day. Its not much, just a few beers a day but its turning into a habit. The other thing I have been doing is smoking pot on the days I don’t have my son. I feel like I am wasting my life. I should be out meeting new friends and talking to my old friends. I should be able to feel happy with out the help of a substance. I really don’t want to go back to treatment, so I’m going to try and nip this in the butt now. My boy friend smokes pot regularly and sometimes I feel like he is an enabler. I’m not sure what to do but I need to make a change because drinking and getting stoned after work, is not working.
My doctor raised my antidepressant and I do feel a little better but my weight gain is still horrible. I’m over 200 pounds now. I was 150 before they started me on all the psych drugs. I finally got approved for Humira for my inflammatory arthritis. It’s an injection and so far I haven’t noticed a difference but I guess it takes time.