Spring Moon

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Wednesday

Well I haven’t blogged in a while.  I’ve been so busy which is good.  I’m still in treatment at the psychiatric hospital.  I received my 30 day sober token today.  It’s been really hard being sober but I think I’m going to be okay. I am less stressed about bills because I took out some of my retirement so now I can focus more on my recovery instead of stressing about money.  CPS is supposed to stop by this week to talk to me about my sons behavior.  I am really stressed about that but I know it will be okay.

I started teaching myself how to crochete to reduce stress and it is really helping.  it was hard at first but I think I have it down.  My depression is up and down along with my anxiety.  My meds seem to be still working.  My health has been over all good.  My arthritis pain is so much now that is summer. My boy friend and I have been going through some struggles.  He’s been really depressed too and he has been trying to cope with his anxiety with out using pot.  Lets just say…. two depressed people in a relationship is really freaken hard.

Saturday

Well I’m doing okay.  I am still slightly stressed but I think I’m coping with it pretty well.  My artwork was displayed on the show “Tiny House Hunting” last night and it went okay.  The show will air in the fall.  My oldest sister is coming to visit this weekend.  I can’t wait to see her.  Things are going pretty well considering.  I don’t have much to write about, I guess that’s good thing.

Friday

Well yesterday went really well.  I got a lot of chores done around the apartment.  I also had a friend over that i haven’t seen in a while. So far my meds are working and I feel a little better.  I’m still stressed about CPS coming to see me next week but I think it will be okay.

I got offered an opportunity to display my art work in a home that will be on TV.  The show is called “Tiny House Hunting”.   I’m really excited and nervous at the same time. I think this may bring me good promotion opportunities.

Day 10

Well I have been in treatment 10 days now and so far I am doing better.  My upped meds are working and I feel less depressed and anxious.  I am still stressed about CPS coming to talk to me but i know its just protocol.  I have no idea where my son learned humping from but I’m pretty sure he learned it from another kid at his old school.

I went and I met up with my sponsor yesterday and he gave me a copy of The Big Book.  It went really well.  We talked for 3 hours.  I also went to my first AA meeting tonight and it was good. I even shared, which I wasn’t expecting for my first time.

I’m Scared

Well yesterday was good and bad.  I was able to go into work and drop off my paper work. I’m glad that stress is over but now I have a new stress.  A couple weeks ago my son got kicked out of summer camp for biting a kid and talking back to one of the teachers.  He also was dry humping some of the other kids and licking them.  I don’t know for sure where this behavior is coming from.  I think he learned it from one of the kids at his pre school that was teaching him bad words.  Well the summer camp called CPS.  I’m really stressed that CPS might judge me because I am in treatment for depression and addiction. I’m really scared.  They interviewed my ex husband already and I guess it went fine.  They are coming to interview me next week.  On top of all this my boy friend is really depressed and I am worried he might become suicidal because he has attempted 3 times. I am trying to hold it together, so I’m not going drink to relieve my stress. I’m going to keep going to treatment and continue to get better.

Monday

I feel odd today.  I’m waiting to hear back from my work so I can come in and drop off my paper work from my doctor.  I’m so tired of waiting for my boss to get back to me.  I need to give him the paper work in person.

I was able to pick up the living room and I did a couple yoga exercises but now I am glued to the couch just dwelling on my thoughts.  I hate it when this happens.  I just end up getting stuck and my depression just takes over.  Luckily I have therapy today.  So getting out for bit will help.

Weekend

Well its 1 am and I can’t sleep.  I have to go into work to drop off more paper work. If my boss is there.  Hes been gone for a week and I hope he is there so I can get this over with.  I’m stressing about it still.  I don’t want to run into anyone and explain why I haven’t been at work.  The thought of going back to work gives me a panic attack.  I hope this feeling goes away so I’ll be able to work again.

Well my weekend was okay.  I tried to keep my son busy.  We went shopping and picked out some books.  I got 2 work books on depression and anxiety.  Then we took my son to chuckie cheese.  He had a lot of fun there. We also went shopping and I got some fish oil vitamins and vitamin B12 to help with my depression….I hope any way.  It’s been humid as hell here in San Diego.

I have no treatment today but I do have therapy today.  I am looking forward to talking to him about my anxiety problem with work.  My meds seem to be working again.  I have been having a little anxiety here and there.  The depression is a little better .

I have been trying to learn how to crochet and knit to keep my mind occupied….its really hard but I keep trying.

Day 7

Today was day 7 of treatment and it went well.  I saw my doctor today and explained that I was still struggling with my depression and he upped one of my meds. Over all today was a lot better.  My son made friends at his new school and I’ll be financially okay with money from my retirement. I’m still not working right now while I’m in treatment.  A huge stress was lifted off my shoulders knowing that we will have money for bills.